ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE
Dowry system specifically forbidden in Islam
Though it exists among the Tamils in Sri Lanka as well, the dowry system is specifically forbidden, or "haram" in Islam, according to Mr Mohamed Ilyas, director of the Centre for Islamic Studies in Colombo. He described such transactions are "underground dealings".
"Very few women can give those gifts, so they become old in their houses," he added.
Thanks to the tsunami, some women are escaping this fate.
For more than four years, whenever Mr Mohammed Risvi visited Mr Samiyoon, his heart raced. He had fallen in love with his sister, Ms A. R. Sajeetha.
But before the tsunami, marriage was never on the cards for the 26-year-old carpenter and his 25-year-old love - at least not till he had saved enough money for his own younger sister to get married.
In a twist of fate, the killer waves brought for Mr Risvi what years of savings failed to achieve for his sister, who married in January after her husband waived the dowry requirement.
A few months later in May, Mr Risvi finally tied the knot with Ms Sajeetha. Her family did not want any dowry either. He used half of the 40,000 rupees (S$670) he had saved to buy his bride a gold tali, or marriage necklace. Made in Singapore, he said proudly.
But the conjugal blessings of the waves came at a high price. Of a family of 40 members, Mr Risvi and his sister were the only survivors.
"After the tsunami, I was all alone, with no one to look after me. If not for the tsunami, I would not have been able to predict when I could have gotten married. It'd have depended on God," he said.
New lease of life for widowed and divorced
The singles are not the only ones benefiting from the relaxed marriage norms. The widowed and divorced are taking the chance to get into the act as well.
But their reasons are not quite as romantic.
Thirty-five-year-old divorcee Madam Abdul Hameed Mumtaj desperately needed to get married after the tsunami. Her child suffered from kidney failure and desperately needed an operation to get better. Unfortunately, her brother, who was the breadwinner of the family, died when the waves struck.
"My brother was a great support to me when he was alive. He would look after the family and my child. After he was gone, there was no one to support me. I found it very difficult to get by so I wanted to get married," she said.
Madam Hameed's knight in shining armour arrived 4 months ago in the form of a 45-year-old widowed fisherman, who brought three teenage kids in tow. She did not mind. After a whirlwind "courtship", Madam Hameed found herself a richer bride, upon receiving 50,000 rupees (S$838) as dowry and a gold tali worth half that from her new husband. "I didn't like my husband at first but he was very kind to give me a dowry. Now, I'm just happy to raise our children up."
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